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How to start your prenup conversation

You know that you want a prenuptial agreement. You’ve known it for years, since before you even met your significant other. It just seems smart to you. It protects you financially in a divorce. You have seen the divorce statistics, so you know it’s a real concern.

The problem is that you are not sure how to get that conversation going. Is your significant other going to be furious when you bring it up? Will he or she assume the marriage is bound to fail if you’re already worrying about it before the wedding?

It’s a tough conversation to start, but you must know how if it’s important to you. Do not let that wedding day arrive without the prenup in place because you were too nervous to talk about it. Here are a few tips that can help:

1. Understand that you may feel strange during the conversation

This is a big conversation. It’s a heavy topic. Mentally prepare yourself in advance. If you come to it with the right mindset, you won’t feel frustrated when it doesn’t go as smoothly as you hoped. Set your expectations properly.

2. Do not wait until the last minute

In some ways, it may even be best to talk about prenuptial agreements in some capacity before you’re engaged. Early on in the relationship, while the conversation may still feel awkward, it’s not as daunting. You’re not planning a wedding yet. Even if you are engaged, do not wait until a month before the big day. Get your desires on the table in advance.

3. Focus on the benefits

Keep the conversation centered on the benefits of a prenup as much as you can. Talk about the hassle a long divorce can become, for instance, and how a prenup makes it go so much faster. Show your significant other that it will help him or her, and not just you. Mention that this is a step you can both take to protect yourselves, instead of acting like you just want the prenup for yourself.

4. Tell your significant other that you can both work on writing the prenup

Again, this shows that it can help your soon-to-be spouse as well. You do not want to draft a document and have him or her sign it. You want to work together to draft a prenup that you both agree on in advance, and then you can get it filed properly.

The prenup conversation may still feel tough, but you have some idea of how to get it going. You may be pleasantly surprised by your significant other’s reaction when you show how important it is for both of you to think about all of your legal options.